Ahhhh Parenting Advice...

No this is not a post of my advice for parenting.  This post about is about advice that we parents (or is it just us moms that open this kind of stuff on the regular?  Ya know, since we're gluttons for punishment.) get bombarded with on a daily basis.  This also has nothing to do with our family in particular and may come off as a bit of a rant so if that's not why you're following our little slice of interwebz feel free to skip it.

The other day on fb I posted this status:

Lots of my lovely family and friends jumped to my defense but I wasn't so much posting it in the heat of one of these feelings caused by a parenting article but it was something I had been thinking about.  Often these articles are helpful to a point but so many I've seen lately is just a long list of do's and don'ts often aimed at a certain gender or whatnot- in fact one of the more recent ones was a rather dick-ish one aimed at dads of little girls that I refuse to look for to link to.  One of the things that I think most made me feel like the status I posted, though, wasn't so much an article but a single quote:

Also I just searched for this to share it and the ones I'd seen didn't have who said this quote.  
Now I have a name to who I want to punch. XD

Thanks, guys Peggy, because there's not already enough pressure on parents to try to not only make sure your child(ren) have all they need and are happy and healthy but to make sure they don't become one of the crazies we all want to protect them from but now I feel like any little thing I say is going to ruin them for life.  Then as I thought on it some more I realized it's only partially true, though I understand why she says this and the point she's trying to make.  There is so much more that shapes a person than how their parents talk to them or even how they're raised to be honest.  I'm not saying a parent's words don't have a huge impact but it's not everything and if anything a statement like this only turns a parent into a total basket case that second guesses their parenting at every turn.  Honestly I think that's when a parent really has a problem when they're too paralyzed by doing or saying something wrong and don't do or say anything.  These are the kids who beat their parents that you see on Maury for crying out loud.
No, I'm not proud I know the kind of crap that takes place on Maury but there was a time I watched it a lot when there was nothing else to do.

I'm not saying all advice is bad either, but as a friend said it all need to be taken with a grain of salt.  As well as go with what works for you and your family.  Something that works for us with D may not work for the gal down the street and her son that's the same age.  Though I did find this article, 17 Things Boys Need From Their Moms, that I really loved and want to share with this little rant or whatever you want to call it, haha.

I'm not really writing this for anyone in particular, either, just kind of spit-balling and ranting as I don't think I'm qualified to give parenting advice and honestly are any of us? Anyway, I did find this blog post, The (Not So) Pretty Pictures, via Pinterest the other night and I have to share it.  With all the parenting advice floating around and even the supermom blogs making so many feel inadequate and like they're messing everything up, I felt like this post was SUCH a breath of fresh air.  As is connecting with fellow mommies on the interwebz in places such as instagram where we can say things like "OMG you're avoiding cleaning crushed up chips, I've been avoiding the crushed up animal crackers for the last 3 days." or something along those lines.  Anyway just some food for thought and note:  I'm not mad at or attacking anyone who likes or has shared the quote above.  If you love it, good for you, I just find it too be a little intense and that it could be more hurtful to some in the way of advice.


GrammaC said...

As a parent myself, I'd be the first to offer advice, and hope to hell that they don't take it. As a mom, I just try to be supportive and hope that I can help once in a while. A far as I'm concerned, that's the best advise/help etc, that a person can give.


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